So our life has been a major roller-coaster lately. I’ve been dreading this, but I’m about to report the WHOLE story. I’ll be incredibly impressed if anyone makes it through the entire post. That’s a challenge!
So about this time last year, Miles and I found ourselves sitting in bed talking about the possibility of Miles not continuing his PhD in biology. He had come to the realization that he just wasn’t passionate about/ obsessed enough over it. In case you didn’t know, a person has to be absolutely in love with something to devote 6+ years of their life to it. Two years into the program and Miles found himself already dreading going into the lab each day.
So what now? Well if you’ve spent more than 20 minutes in a conversation with Miles, you’re sure to know what he is passionate about. Computers. Apple. Programming. Problem solving. There was just one problem. He didn’t have any formal training in computers whatsoever. He was self-taught. He’d done a few websites here and there. And he sure spent a lot of time on the internet learning about different programming languages etc. But really in the end, he didn’t have much to show for it. So yeah, I was scared. I let Miles know my insecurities, but in the end, I knew he was not happy and that this career change needed to happen. So we started praying. A lot. And we went forward.
Miles dedicated the next few months to strengthening his resume. He checked out books from the library and continued learning. It reminded me a lot of my dad who built two homes by basically reading how-to manuals.
Then the tedious job search began. Applications, cover letters, resumes. Yuck! And it took awhile for Miles to nail down exactly what jobs he should apply for. But then a miracle happened. He got a phone interview! This was before Thanksgiving. They liked him and gave him a project which he worked on until 2:00am every morning for a couple weeks. To make a very long and drawn-out story a little shorter, after a couple more interviews, in March they flew Miles out to North Carolina for and in-person interview. I paid my own way and went along too. I devoted the couple days to looking at the area and checking out places to live. We thought for sure we’d leave with an offer on the table.
Well, we flew home, still confident, but without an offer. A few days after getting home they emailed us a less-than desirable offer. The bummer was that they weren’t offering benefits. But after some thought, we decided we could make it work. We prayed about it and felt good about accepting the offer. Actually how we felt was that it was a good offer but that there would be others. But since we didn’t have any other offers in the works, we’d be crazy not to take this one. But instead of receiving a updated offer letter, we received a two-lined email stating that they decided not to renew the offer. That there’d been a question about Miles’ commitment to the company. What the?! We had no idea what they were talking about! This was such a blow. It hurt a lot. Miles sent a very lengthy letter the the owner of the company trying to clear up any miscommunication. After they reviewed his letter, they responded by saying they just didn’t think Miles was a good fit.
So after months of being in the interview process with this company, and applying to many others, we were back at square one. We started again, only this time we were looking to be much closer to home. North Carolina was really far, and it put some things into perspective. So more applications, resumes, interviews. This time though, three separate companies asked to interview Miles: one local company; one in Littleton, CO; and one in Riverton, UT.
It seemed we’d struck gold. Miles had three interviews with the company here in Irvine. And we actually got an offer from the company in Littleton. When we got the offer, however, we were in Utah where Miles was interviewing for a Database Engineer position for the LDS Church.
He’d applied for the job with the Church thinking he was very under qualified. Which he was. In fact, during the phone interview he was told so. But they still wanted to meet him. They said they saw potential.
The interview went well. And we were very hopeful! This would be a great opportunity for growth. And there’s no doubt that Miles indeed does have the potential to do very well. We wanted this position. My family wanted us to get this position because we’d only be a few hours away. We were so grateful when my mom told us my family would be fasting and praying for Miles to get the job. Well, God heard our prayers. The next day, Miles got a phone call informing him that they’d like to hire him with a start date of May 17th. Nothing short of a miracle!
We are so thrilled! But as we learned from our experience with the NC peeps, it’s not official until it’s official. So just today we heard the details of the offer. Great salary and benefits! Who could ask for more?
Only one problem. Remember how I’m supposed to have a baby mid-June? Well the benefits don’t kick in until July 1. Now this complicates things beyond belief!
I currently have a private plan through Kaiser Permanente. Utah doesn’t have Kaiser. I cannot buy into an other individual plan because pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition. Blah. We do not qualify for medicaid assistance even though here in California we are living in poverty. So that leaves us paying out of pocket. Maybe not too big of a deal if everything goes perfectly. But that’s a big risk. We could be paying tens of thousands of dollars if I need a c-section, not to mention all the other possible complications.
So where does that leave us? In a very hard situation. We’ve come up with two “solutions.”
1. Link and I stay in California and Miles moves up to Utah to start his job. This would mean me taking care of Link by myself for a month, risking Miles not being here for the birth of the baby (would probably ask the doctor about induction to decrease this risk), paying double rent, and trying to move with a newborn by myself since Miles will have to be back at work.
2. We move together up to Utah as planned. I stay in Riverton and get things settled for a couple weeks. Drive down to St. George to stay with family for a week (it’s 4 hours closer to the Kaiser Hospital), then the final week I’d stay in a friend’s apartment while they are out of town. This would mean I’d pay for prenatal visits out of pocket, we’d still be risking Miles not being there for the birth, and I’d have to travel back up to Utah with a 2-day old.
So neither option is a good option. I hate to say it but our current health care system here in America sucks!
As my grandma said, we’re going to need to talk to the Lord about this one. Indeed!
I welcome any thoughts/ advice. Maybe there’s something we haven’t thought of?
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I think you guys have probably covered all of the possibilities… it’s going to be tough no matter what you decide, but you will make it through : )
You know our story so you know that I can completely empathize. I’ll have no solutions, but if you ever need to just talk, give me a call. <3
By Jessica on 04.29.10 5:20 am | Permalink
Wow Michelle. What a story! And although I feel the job offer is PERFECT for you guys, the insurance worries are every pregnant lady’s worst nightmare. I guess you could look at it this way – at least you have options and are not without insurance completly! I would go with option one if I were you. It would SUCK being pregnant and without Miles for one month, but I am confident that you would have lots of help from the ward, friends, and family. Not that this even compares, but Drew has been living at the school since he is finishing his thesis so I have pretty much been a single parent. At first it sucked, but then it just became life and now I can handle it without complaining and it isn’t hard anymore (although we will be SO happy when he is done in a week!) Anyways, the point is, you can do it even though it will be hard. But time continues to tick no matter what, so that month will come and go and you will have a sweet little one in your arms and living in UT
You know how my deliveries were. The bills for Isabelle totaled over $60,000. I would HATE to see you in a similar situation without insurance. Anything can happen at any moment, so I would pick the less risky option and be right there by your doctor at the drop of a hat. Thats what insurance is – assurance that everything will be OK and covered, even if you end up having the best, worry-free delivery ever. Then again, who knows, maybe this babe will hold out and and make you wait 15 days overdue like Aubree did! Then you could use the UT insurance
In the end, your grandma is right. The Lord knows best and will know what should happen. He had a hand in both of my deliveries, that is for sure. He knows you and the little baby and knows what is right and what will happen. I will be praying for you and only wish I lived closer so I could help! Keep us posted on the decision. Prayers and best of luck. Don’t forget to be excited for Miles and your little family. I am SO glad things worked out and that you held out for the best offer! And look forward to July and beyond. Isn’t that future a breath of fresh air?!? Oh, and PS, where are you living? Did you get a house or are you renting?
By Michelle on 04.29.10 6:06 am | Permalink
Sorry for the novel!
By Michelle on 04.29.10 6:06 am | Permalink
Michelle, I am so excited for you guys that you found this fabulous job! I know that healthcare can be a big worry. I don’t have an easy solution, but here are my two thoughts: 1) call Kaiser and explain the situation. I know there is some kind of provision for covering you in out-of-network hospitals when you’re traveling, I don’t know if it kicks in for pregnancy but it doesn’t hurt to ask. 2) talk to HR at Miles’ job and explain the situation to them as well. If he’s starting in May, why can’t his benefits start June 1? Maybe you could even pay the premium to get in a month early. Again, I don’t know if either of these will get you what you want, but remember that the more they know, the more likely they are to help you. It certainly can’t hurt! Good luck and keep us updated!
By Lilly on 04.29.10 9:14 am | Permalink
Hey Miles and Michelle,
I stumbled upon your blog some time ago, and have followed you guys from afar. I think I discovered your site from your twitter? Anyway thought now was a good time to stop lurking and say hi. Hi!
Your family is totally adorable and you guys are just a few years behind my little family. Except now I have 4 kids and appear way more grown up than I like to admit.
I’m LDS too, and have worked at the LDS Church here in Salt Lake for 5 years, as a designer on the lds.org team (you can see our shiny new site in the works at http://beta.lds.org). I’m at the Riverton building, too.
First thing is, I know this is totally creepy and I sound like a crazy internet stalker, but please let me know if we can help you guys out in your move up here. We’ll totally bring you dinners
Second, Miles should definitely talk to the HR guys here about your situation and see what they can do. The Church has very close ties with the benefits company, and may be able to pull some strings. They may also be able to move up the start date, or push it back a month, to accommodate your situation. The Church doesn’t just hire people off the street, and I know from five years of hiring that we are prompted to hire people by the Spirit. That means a lot of things, but one is that someone upstairs wants him here. The other is they’ll stretch to get him here on the right terms. The Church is the best place to work for raising a family, and they’ll help.
The last thing is I know the Lord opens doors for people who are sensitive enough to listen to these promptings. He kindof hand picks people to come here to work, and he takes care of them. Some amazing doors were opened for us when we moved up here from Georgia to take this job, and he continues to surprise me with what he’s provided while I’m working here. It’s been very similar to being on a mission.
Good luck to you two, and don’t hesitate to email me or connect on facebook, etc.
jason
By Jason Lynes on 04.29.10 10:40 am | Permalink
Hi Michelle! So I have two thoughts. The first is that we had a lady in our ward who was from NY. Her insurance said, if you go to a hospital, in labor, there are some requirement built in to cover. So I agree with Lilly (and Jason) that it is worth a couple phone calls to see what options the companies might have available.
Another option is a little off from main-stream. Depending on your pregnancy and delivery of Link, you might be comfortable having a midwife attend your birth. UT has a great midwife population, and often they are less expensive than a hospital birth. I won’t get into all the details, and I really hope I don’t start anything (because I know there are very strong feelings in both camps), but I would just suggest that you consider the option along with all the others. Good luck and congratulations!
By Sara on 04.29.10 11:59 am | Permalink
Congrats!! If you can’t get some strings pulled in UT, then I would see if they can stop Miles’ monthly stipend so that you can qualify for Medi-cal. Also, cash paying patients can actually work out a lot of payment options with the hospitals. I’ve heard of some hospitals cutting your bill in half if you pay within a certain time. The hospitals also have so much $ that they devote to service and in-need patients. A few calls to the hospitals in that area could tell you quite a bit.
By Amber on 04.29.10 1:27 pm | Permalink
Wow! I am so glad you shared your story and situation. I am amazed at the love and support you have just from reading the comments.
First of all, I am so happy for you and Miles and seeing now that he was not in love with the field he was originally going into. That is an awesome thing to recognize that now rather than halfway through a career and realizing you are depressed with life…etc.
Second, I didn’t realize you were due in JUNE! That’s awesome! It’s just around the corner!
Third, it looks like you have a lot of great ideas from your post and the comments. I agree with others- try making a few phone calls. It shouldn’t hurt just to bring up the situation with Miles’ new job. Maybe there is a n easy fix. Maybe not, but at least you asked.
Lastly, I miss you so much. I am happy to hear that you will be relocating to Utah! And it sounds like you will be living, somewhat, near us. I will be happy to help you unpack, move in, babysit, etc. I would love to help in any way possible!
Keep us informed on what you guys decide to do!
By Laura Edwards on 04.29.10 2:14 pm | Permalink
What wonderful news about the job! I am so happy for you. I think a ton of good advice was given. Do you know if you have out-of-network coverage? If so it should at least cover a portion on the delivery.
It would be great if they would just start Miles’ new benefits early though!!!
You sound way in tune with the spirit, so I am sure you will be guided in what to do…Good Luck!
By Monica on 04.29.10 6:31 pm | Permalink
Michelle,
I am happy you guys got this job! It sounds perfect!
Because Miles has not started the job yet…if you got to Utah soon like VERY soon…you may be able to get medicaid. Because you are pregnant they approve you in a week. After you are approved you stay on it REGARDLESS of income going up or down. You would have to have an address of where you are staying. How this works is right now he is not employed and so you cant count the new job. You would just have to get a peice of mail stated a Utah address. Does that make sense? Seriously the system stinks but there are ways around it. You would have to apply ASAP so that he had not started the job yet. Have you already looked into this option? I hope not because it just might work. Like I siad once you are on medicaid while being pregnant you are on it till you deliver no matter what. You just have to stay in the state that you get it in.
I hope this helps. If you have any questions let me know. I have been through the hoops and know quit a bit of how to get around since I had to use it when we were in school.
Good Luck!! We sure do miss you guys!
By Abbi on 04.29.10 7:25 pm | Permalink
That is a very hard situation. I’m going to go along with what Sara said. If you have a birth at a birth center it’s a few thousand less than the hospital. Also you might consider a home birth which would end up being less than 3,000 because you have already gotten the majority of your prenatal care taken care of. I know it sounds crazy but if you do the research statistics show homebirth is as safe or safer than hospital births if attended by a certified midwife. Dan and I actually are planning to homebirth our next baby (we aren’t going to tell anyone publicly because Dan’s family would FREAK OUT). Anyway, this is a very sensitive subject and it sucks to have to make this decision based on money. Good luck to you!
By Bri on 04.29.10 7:26 pm | Permalink
Of course I made it through your totally inspiring story!!! This is so awesome Michelle and I know I’ve said it before, but I respect so much how you have shown faith your husband and the Lord.
By Jackie on 04.29.10 10:24 pm | Permalink
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