On Wednesday, June 9th our family left for California. I was scheduled to be induced June 10th. On our way through St. George, we stopped to drop Lincoln off to stay with my parents. When we told Link we were leaving and would be bringing home a baby, he just said “bye-bye,” and off he went to play. He was in good hands.

Miles and I made the rest of the trip that night. We spent a lot of the trip talking and daydreaming about what it would be like to have another child in our home. We were very excited!

We picked up the key to our friends apartment, dropped off our stuff, cleaned up and got ready for a late dinner dinner at Cheesecake Factory. Nothing better than cheesecake to give you energy for labor!

Even with all the anticipation, I got more sleep that night than I expected.

We got to the hospital at about 8:30am. We pulled into a very busy parking lot. All of the Labor/Delivery spots were take but one. It turned out they were having a busy morning.

We were admitted and sent to a labor/delivery room with our nurse. The paperwork took awhile. And because they were busy and I was there for an induction, I was kinda a last priority. It took them awhile to get things going.

A resident checked me and informed me I was still only 2 cm and 60-80% effaced. It was hard to believe after a week of early-labor contractions!

Finally they started the pitocin at 10:30am. I was a little bit apprehensive not knowing what these “artificial” contractions were going to feel like. I’d heard they are often more intense. But the nurse and CNM assured me they would start me out at a very small dose, and any time I wanted my epidural they’d call it in.

It wasn’t long until I was wanting them to pump up the volume and get things moving. They were increasing the dosage every 30 min or so. Miles and I were pretty bored just hanging out. I think I watched 4 episodes of I Love Lucy. I was in no pain yet. I think I was finally 3 cm at about 3 hours. Needless to say, things were moving very slowly. After this point I started feeling a bit of cramping, but nothing like what I remember with Link. So, the CNM instructed the nurse to start increasing the dosage every 15 min. After another hour or so, I finally started feeling some discomfort. Yay, pain was feeling good.

The resident checked me again and I had progressed to a 4. The contractions were still easy. I could have done this all day. There was talk about breaking my water to further augment labor. My goal was to get to a 5 before they did this. But then, the CNM (who I really loved) came in to check my progress. While checking me, she said she was going to go ahead and break my water. That was intense. There was A LOT of water. The midwife even commented about how my belly was all water. I was grateful things were picking up! The midwife told me I might want to order the epidural because the contractions were going to get pretty intense. So even though I thought I could labor without it, I went ahead and had them order it. I labored about 45 minutes though contractions that finally felt equal to those I labored through for 7 hours with Lincoln.

Getting the epidural was more uncomfortable than I remembered. Last time I think it was just such a relief, I didn’t care how uncomfortable it was. And this epidural was much stronger. I could feel it when I pushed with Lincoln. This time there was no sensation whatsoever.

After getting the epidural, it was another hour or so until the resident said I was at a 5. This was going way slower than I expected. She asked me if I as feeling any pressure down there. I told her there was constant pressure. About 10 minutes after the resident left, I started to feel pressure that rose and fell with the contractions. This was what I remembered feeling when pushing with Link. I remembered thinking, yay, progress! I might be a 6 now.

A few contractions later, something unexpected happened on the monitor. All of a sudden the baby’s heart rate dropped or was lost. A nurse ran in, and not knowing what was going on, she called for the midwife. This made me nervous, and my first thought was a possible cesarean. The midwife came into the room a minute later. She told me she was just going to check to see how the baby was doing. When she looked she said something like, “oh, that’s why! The baby is coming!” WHAT?! Only twenty minutes before I had been a 5.

People ran around the room getting things ready. Three minutes later the midwife was suited up and ready to deliver. She told me I was contracting and to go ahead and push. Well, I didn’t need anymore explanation, I was a pushing pro!

I pushed through three contractions—less than 5 minutes—and Claire was born!

She was so beautiful! People in the room commented on how healthy and pink she looked!

Truly, there isn’t a more joyous moment than when your child is born. But the emotion this time was a little different. With Link there was a deep relief wrapped up in the blissful moment. With Claire, it was pure elation and euphoria. Both experiences so different. Both so beautiful and unforgettable.

I can’t believe we’re a family of four now. That really hit me when I read a card from my Grandma that was addressed to “Michelle, Miles, Lincoln, and Claire.”

One of the highlights of this experience was introducing Lincoln to his sister. He loves her and is being very sweet to her. He’s proving to be very secure and doesn’t seem to be threatened. At least not yet. It’s so fun to see him acting as an older brother.

The last five days with Claire have been a dream! She is one content little girl. She nurses well, poops well, travels well, and sleeps well! Hallelujah! I think I must have done my time with Link! Everything seems easier on this one! It has truly been a blessing. Thank you Father in Heaven, for sending us one of your little angels!

Link is playing quietly in the other room, so I thought I’d take the chance to write up a few more details about what’s going on with us. I’m sure many of our friends and family members are super confused! Heck, we’re really not sure about anything ourselves! Mostly, this is for Claire.

One week ago, I had an appointment with my midwife in California. So a couple days before, Lincoln and I packed up and drove to St. George. My sister had kindly offered to watch Link while just my mom and I ran down to Irvine for my appointment. While there, with the help of some wonderful friends, we packed up the remainder of our stuff (we had left a few things thinking Link and I would be camping out there for a couple weeks) and were planning to return to St. George the next day. The appointment went well, but to our surprise, after she checked me, the midwife told me I was “on the brink of having this baby.” I was soft and would go sooner rather than later. Oh, and in addition, she stripped my membranes without asking. I was like, whoa, we’re gonna have this baby soon! We went ahead and scheduled an induction date for June 10, but again the midwife commented that she didn’t think I’d make it until then.

After some prayer, Miles and I decided it would still be okay if I returned to St. George the next day, though we weren’t certain if going all the way home to Herriman was a good idea. So the next day (Saturday) my mom and I headed for St. George, wading through the Memorial Day weekend traffic. We spent the night in St. George. I was really pushing to go home at this point, but Miles was still hesitant. I planned to leave Sunday morning, but then my mom offered to give us their piano. She thought this was a good opportunity to get it loaded and have my little brother, Danny, drive it up on his way to EFY. So we waited to gather my dad and brothers to load it onto the trailer. This didn’t happen until about 5:00pm. So by 6:00 we were finally ready to go. I was anxious to just get home!

WARNING in the next line there will be some graphic detail . . .

While taking my last potty stop before leaving, I found just a little mucus on the toilet paper. I consulted my sister, and she agreed it was probably the beginning of my cervical mucus plug. In case you didn’t know, mucus plug is a technical term! I went back to the bathroom just to check again, and sure enough, I found my mucus plug.

Now, you’ll need a little background information to see why finding my mucus plug was so profound. My labor with Link went like this: I had a few contractions, found my mucus plug, an hour later my water broke which put me into full active labor. Miles and I had agreed beforehand that if I found my plug he would immediately jump on a plane and meet me in California. So, feeling very nervous that I’d be laboring intensely in the car, my mom and I headed back to Irvine. We did keep in mind that Vegas and Barstow have hospitals.

Miles got a ride to the airport from the High Priest group leader. He arrived at the airport at 7:00pm, told them his wife was in labor and had him in first class on the 7:45 flight. He made it to Irvine hours before we did!

Luckily, in the car I only had some menstral-like cramping and early labor contractions once in awhile. So we got there with no problem. We set up our air mattresses in the empty apartment and hoped to get a good night’s rest. But we got more than we hoped for. The early labor had stopped by morning. But we were still optimistic. We planned a day with lots of walking. We went to the mall and bought an outfit to take maternity pictures in at the beach. The menstral cramping and early contractions continued for the remainder of the day. But by the time we returned to our apartment that late afternoon, I felt very discouraged that active labor had not started. So, while my mom and Miles napped, I knelt down beside the air mattress and prayed to know what in the world I should do. It just wasn’t possible to hang out in California for a week. Literally as soon as I ended my prayer, my phone rang. It was my good friend Bridget, who just so happens to be a doula! She was returning my call from Friday and had no idea any of this was happening. This was undoubtedly an answer to my prayer!

Bridget and I discussed my predicament, and she offered an idea I never would have thought of. She suggested I have the midwife check me again and possibly augment the labor. Well, because Kaiser works a little differently I couldn’t just call up my midwife so we decided to go into the hospital to be checked by the midwife who was on duty. It was here that we got some disappointing news. I hadn’t progressed at all since my Friday appointment! Are you kidding me? And because I was still only 37 1/2 weeks along, they couldn’t augment/induce me—which we totally understood. Making sure the baby is strong and healthy is the most important thing!

Alright, it was time to just go home. Screw Kaiser (pardon my language) if they don’t cover the emergency delivery. We still haven’t been able to get a straight forward answer about whether or not they would cover the delivery if I’m admitted through the emergency room, even after talking to the claims department and membership services multiple times. Being away from each other and our home just became too much. We shouldn’t have to deal with all of this crap.

That night, Miles was able to give me a very comforting priesthood blessing. In it, I was told I didn’t need to worry, and that I would not have the baby traveling home. We packed up AGAIN, and headed back to Utah. This time we picked up Link in St. George and drove all the way home. It is so good to be all together at home again.

We continue to wait. I feel like I’ve been in early labor for a week now. I’m learning a lesson in patience. We are so anxious to welcome this little girl into our family. To be continued. . .

I’ve been meaning to write this post for what seems like an eternity. But alas, life gets busy. Though I’m sure 90% of you who read this will already know our wonderful news, I wanted to make an official announcement!

We’re having another baby!

Our bundle of joy will arrive somewhere around June 19th—which is the official due date! I will be 13 weeks tomorrow. Link and Baby #2 will be almost exactly 2 years apart!

FAQs

Was is planned?
Yup. And we are thrilled! But we didn’t know it would happen so quickly. It took us 9 months to get pregnant with Lincoln and only 1 month with this one! What a blessing!

Are you going to find out what you’re having?
Yes, yes.

Do you want a boy or girl?
No preference! Either would be really fun! I don’t even have an inkling as to what to expect. I knew Link was a boy. This should be a total surprise!

Did you pick a fetus name?
You may remember us calling Link “Feets” while he was in utero. Miles has again named our little fetus. This one goes by “Sneaker.” There’s a bit of a story with this one that I won’t tell here. But doesn’t sound good with Feets. Feets, Sneaker, get it?

How’s your pregnancy been?
Sicker this time. Not as bad as some women have it I’m sure. But I’ve been uncomfortable at times. And I’m a big baby and complain a lot. Poor Miles!

Are you showing yet?
Well, let’s just say that I shared the news with my boss last week, and she told me she had already guessed that I was pregnant from the sight of my belly! It’s just how it is people, when you have basically no waist. There’s no where for all my organs and fat to go but out! And don’t get your hopes up, I won’t be showing bare belly pictures this time around. The battle scars from the last one aren’t pretty!

Did I get all the basic questions covered?

Though sometimes I can’t believe I’m doing this all over again already, we are so thrilled about adding another member to our little family! Lincoln is going to be an outstanding older brother, and I already know this new baby will touch our lives and fill our home with more love. We’re so excited to meet him or her.

Thanks, Andrea, for the FAQ idea

I am so upset that I didn’t write this post a month ago. I wish I could portray now the raw feelings I had then. I remember one night after a deranged melt-down, I told Miles how angry I was that no one told the truth about postpartum depression and just how difficult it really was. I don’t mean to make anyone feel guilty for not warning me or comforting me while I was struggling. After all, I did my best to hide it and put on a happy face. I didn’t want to give anyone the impression that I wasn’t good at being a new mom. Why are we so afraid to seem imperfect? Because of this, I felt terribly alone. I was embarrassed to admit to anyone (and for awhile even to myself) that I was depressed. I know this affliction doesn’t strike everyone. Count yourself lucky! I’ve been told by a number of people that my situation was harder than normal and I had a much rougher start than most new moms. But how would I know. I’d never had a baby before. I think it mostly had to do with all the early health issues Link was facing. But I also know that having a baby is never easy for anyone. There are always struggles. For me I felt like I was PMSing x10 for weeks and weeks. I hated not feeling like my normal self. I blew everything out of proportion to the point that even the smallest hang-ups seemed like monumental burdens. But I couldn’t accurately decipher the size of my challenges. Everything was skewed in my mind. These enormous challenges I “made up” were my reality. I felt guilty that I wasn’t enjoying motherhood and felt even worse that I wasn’t being a good mom to Link—that I wasn’t hacking it. This led to regular melt downs where all I could do was cry hysterically. Miles would remind me over and over again that my hormones were wacky. Of course, this was comforting depending on what mood I was in.

I don’t know exactly when things started looking up but the burden just seemed to get lighter and lighter until one day I realized I felt like my happy self again. Taking up swimming and making sure I got out of the house everyday really helped lift my spirits, but I know this wasn’t the “cure.” I found the statement “it gets better,” which I had heard over and over again from basically anyone with children, was coming true. I don’t know how or why, but the depression did pass and boy am I grateful!

So I don’t really know what the point of this post is. I hope it can be eye-opening for a few, comforting for some, and refreshing for others.

My name is Michelle Pomeroy and I am imperfect. But I’m doing the best I can.