What’s up in Herriman UT

Here are a few pictures of things we’ve been doing since moving back to Utah.

Link has been spending lots of time in our “backyard.” Though it’s not fenced in, we’re so happy to have a little grass and playground behind us. It sure beats being in a second floor apartment!
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There’s a saying in Utah that goes something like, “If you don’t like the weather now, just wait 30 minutes.” That’s for sure. Link experienced playing in real snow for the first time just three days after we spent the afternoon at the pool!
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On the 2nd, we celebrated Link’s and Daddy’s birthday. I attempted to make a tractor cake, but this was a day I was having what we found out later was false labor, so just the fact that it somewhat resembled a tractor was a victory. Tractors and big trucks are Link’s new thing lately. Herriman is a pretty rural area, so we see them around frequently. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s had a little cold or because he turned two, but he has been a handful lately! The following picture says a lot.
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After we gave him a popsicle he was a little happier.
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We always look forward to the weekend when Daddy can spend more time with us. Yesterday we went on a trip to the Kennecott Copper Mine that’s about 15 minutes away from us. It was really incredible to see. And of course, Link wouldn’t stop talking about the BIG trucks and BIG tractors!
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I really didn’t want to post this picture in all my huge glory. Just remember I’m at the bitter end people!
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Unwanted Drama

Link is playing quietly in the other room, so I thought I’d take the chance to write up a few more details about what’s going on with us. I’m sure many of our friends and family members are super confused! Heck, we’re really not sure about anything ourselves! Mostly, this is for Claire.

One week ago, I had an appointment with my midwife in California. So a couple days before, Lincoln and I packed up and drove to St. George. My sister had kindly offered to watch Link while just my mom and I ran down to Irvine for my appointment. While there, with the help of some wonderful friends, we packed up the remainder of our stuff (we had left a few things thinking Link and I would be camping out there for a couple weeks) and were planning to return to St. George the next day. The appointment went well, but to our surprise, after she checked me, the midwife told me I was “on the brink of having this baby.” I was soft and would go sooner rather than later. Oh, and in addition, she stripped my membranes without asking. I was like, whoa, we’re gonna have this baby soon! We went ahead and scheduled an induction date for June 10, but again the midwife commented that she didn’t think I’d make it until then.

After some prayer, Miles and I decided it would still be okay if I returned to St. George the next day, though we weren’t certain if going all the way home to Herriman was a good idea. So the next day (Saturday) my mom and I headed for St. George, wading through the Memorial Day weekend traffic. We spent the night in St. George. I was really pushing to go home at this point, but Miles was still hesitant. I planned to leave Sunday morning, but then my mom offered to give us their piano. She thought this was a good opportunity to get it loaded and have my little brother, Danny, drive it up on his way to EFY. So we waited to gather my dad and brothers to load it onto the trailer. This didn’t happen until about 5:00pm. So by 6:00 we were finally ready to go. I was anxious to just get home!

WARNING in the next line there will be some graphic detail . . .

While taking my last potty stop before leaving, I found just a little mucus on the toilet paper. I consulted my sister, and she agreed it was probably the beginning of my cervical mucus plug. In case you didn’t know, mucus plug is a technical term! I went back to the bathroom just to check again, and sure enough, I found my mucus plug.

Now, you’ll need a little background information to see why finding my mucus plug was so profound. My labor with Link went like this: I had a few contractions, found my mucus plug, an hour later my water broke which put me into full active labor. Miles and I had agreed beforehand that if I found my plug he would immediately jump on a plane and meet me in California. So, feeling very nervous that I’d be laboring intensely in the car, my mom and I headed back to Irvine. We did keep in mind that Vegas and Barstow have hospitals.

Miles got a ride to the airport from the High Priest group leader. He arrived at the airport at 7:00pm, told them his wife was in labor and had him in first class on the 7:45 flight. He made it to Irvine hours before we did!

Luckily, in the car I only had some menstral-like cramping and early labor contractions once in awhile. So we got there with no problem. We set up our air mattresses in the empty apartment and hoped to get a good night’s rest. But we got more than we hoped for. The early labor had stopped by morning. But we were still optimistic. We planned a day with lots of walking. We went to the mall and bought an outfit to take maternity pictures in at the beach. The menstral cramping and early contractions continued for the remainder of the day. But by the time we returned to our apartment that late afternoon, I felt very discouraged that active labor had not started. So, while my mom and Miles napped, I knelt down beside the air mattress and prayed to know what in the world I should do. It just wasn’t possible to hang out in California for a week. Literally as soon as I ended my prayer, my phone rang. It was my good friend Bridget, who just so happens to be a doula! She was returning my call from Friday and had no idea any of this was happening. This was undoubtedly an answer to my prayer!

Bridget and I discussed my predicament, and she offered an idea I never would have thought of. She suggested I have the midwife check me again and possibly augment the labor. Well, because Kaiser works a little differently I couldn’t just call up my midwife so we decided to go into the hospital to be checked by the midwife who was on duty. It was here that we got some disappointing news. I hadn’t progressed at all since my Friday appointment! Are you kidding me? And because I was still only 37 1/2 weeks along, they couldn’t augment/induce me—which we totally understood. Making sure the baby is strong and healthy is the most important thing!

Alright, it was time to just go home. Screw Kaiser (pardon my language) if they don’t cover the emergency delivery. We still haven’t been able to get a straight forward answer about whether or not they would cover the delivery if I’m admitted through the emergency room, even after talking to the claims department and membership services multiple times. Being away from each other and our home just became too much. We shouldn’t have to deal with all of this crap.

That night, Miles was able to give me a very comforting priesthood blessing. In it, I was told I didn’t need to worry, and that I would not have the baby traveling home. We packed up AGAIN, and headed back to Utah. This time we picked up Link in St. George and drove all the way home. It is so good to be all together at home again.

We continue to wait. I feel like I’ve been in early labor for a week now. I’m learning a lesson in patience. We are so anxious to welcome this little girl into our family. To be continued. . .

Response

First of all, I have to thank everyone for their advice and input! Many of your suggestions we hadn’t thought about or considered. A couple days ago, while doing the dishes, I found myself crying out of gratitude for all the wonderful people the Lord and placed in my life. Through all of this people have been so supportive— willing to do anything to help our situation.

I thought it’d be fun to respond to each of your comments in a post.

Thanks for your support, Jessica. It’s nice to know other people have made it through similarly difficult circumstances!

Michelle, you’re right about the fact that we at least have insurance. I could be worse. Your encouragement that it is possible to take care of the kids by yourself was helpful. I am more confident now that Link and I will be okay. For now, staying in California while Miles is in Utah looks like our best option. I can’t believe that the medical bills for Isabelle were so much! That definitely put things into perspective when we were considering just taking a chance and paying out of pocket in Utah. Thanks for your prayers! And no, we don’t have any idea where we’ll be living. We’re looking at a few complexes that are close to Miles’ work, at least within biking distance. That way, he won’t need a car and can leave it for Link and I to use.

Lilly, it was good to talk to you about this in person a little bit the other day. You’re right that making a few phone calls doesn’t hurt. We are planning to talk to HR hopefully Monday or Tuesday after we get all the details of the offer in writing. As for the Kaiser possibilities, from the phone calls I’ve made we really have no possibilities. It stinks.

Jason, it was good and surprising to hear from you! Your advice was definitely comforting and informative. And we’ll possibly hit you up for that dinner when we finally arrive in Riverton! We too feel guided by the Spirit in all of this. Hopefully we’ll be in contact again soon!

Sara, through all of this, the option of delivering in a birthing center was not excluded. I definitely think natural child birth is a good thing and it is cheaper. However, we decided there is still a risk of being transferred and then we could still be stuck with a huge hospital bill. It stinks that making these decisions comes down to money! Good to hear from you! It’s been awhile!

Amber, I appreciated your insider’s view about how the hospitals work. I’d heard similar stories from a couple other people but you helped clarify how this works. Though we don’t have a strong Plan A, working with the Riverton hospital is our Plan B. You’re a very wise women.

Laura, I’m so excited we’ll be living closer! I thought about that the other day and am wondering where you live exactly. Is your condo in South Jordan? I couldn’t remember. I’m not sure how the move-in part is going to go, but we might just take you up of your offer for help. At this point, I think Miles is planning to drive the Uhaul up next week while I camp it out in California.

Monica, unfortunately Kaiser doesn’t have any out-of-network coverage options except for emergency services. Thank you so much for your well wishes!

Abbi, I couldn’t believe how creative your idea was! I brought it up to Miles, be alas, we figured out that we’re not going to have a lapse in employment. Miles will be receiving paychecks from the University through May. And unfortunately living in “poverty” as students here in California doesn’t equate to poverty in Utah. So, we don’t qualify for medicaid even with our current salary.

Bri, like I mentioned to Sara, I thought natural child birth would be a great option, but it doesn’t solve our problem with not having insurance. And yes, I agree that it stinks to make the decision based on money!

Thanks for your kind words Jackie! You’re such a sweetheart!

Love you all. We’re so so so grateful for your kindness!

The Whole Story

So our life has been a major roller-coaster lately. I’ve been dreading this, but I’m about to report the WHOLE story. I’ll be incredibly impressed if anyone makes it through the entire post. That’s a challenge!

So about this time last year, Miles and I found ourselves sitting in bed talking about the possibility of Miles not continuing his PhD in biology. He had come to the realization that he just wasn’t passionate about/ obsessed enough over it. In case you didn’t know, a person has to be absolutely in love with something to devote 6+ years of their life to it. Two years into the program and Miles found himself already dreading going into the lab each day.

So what now? Well if you’ve spent more than 20 minutes in a conversation with Miles, you’re sure to know what he is passionate about. Computers. Apple. Programming. Problem solving. There was just one problem. He didn’t have any formal training in computers whatsoever. He was self-taught. He’d done a few websites here and there. And he sure spent a lot of time on the internet learning about different programming languages etc. But really in the end, he didn’t have much to show for it. So yeah, I was scared. I let Miles know my insecurities, but in the end, I knew he was not happy and that this career change needed to happen. So we started praying. A lot. And we went forward.

Miles dedicated the next few months to strengthening his resume. He checked out books from the library and continued learning. It reminded me a lot of my dad who built two homes by basically reading how-to manuals.

Then the tedious job search began. Applications, cover letters, resumes. Yuck! And it took awhile for Miles to nail down exactly what jobs he should apply for. But then a miracle happened. He got a phone interview! This was before Thanksgiving. They liked him and gave him a project which he worked on until 2:00am every morning for a couple weeks. To make a very long and drawn-out story a little shorter, after a couple more interviews, in March they flew Miles out to North Carolina for and in-person interview. I paid my own way and went along too. I devoted the couple days to looking at the area and checking out places to live. We thought for sure we’d leave with an offer on the table.

Well, we flew home, still confident, but without an offer. A few days after getting home they emailed us a less-than desirable offer. The bummer was that they weren’t offering benefits. But after some thought, we decided we could make it work. We prayed about it and felt good about accepting the offer. Actually how we felt was that it was a good offer but that there would be others. But since we didn’t have any other offers in the works, we’d be crazy not to take this one. But instead of receiving a updated offer letter, we received a two-lined email stating that they decided not to renew the offer. That there’d been a question about Miles’ commitment to the company. What the?! We had no idea what they were talking about! This was such a blow. It hurt a lot. Miles sent a very lengthy letter the the owner of the company trying to clear up any miscommunication. After they reviewed his letter, they responded by saying they just didn’t think Miles was a good fit.

So after months of being in the interview process with this company, and applying to many others, we were back at square one. We started again, only this time we were looking to be much closer to home. North Carolina was really far, and it put some things into perspective. So more applications, resumes, interviews. This time though, three separate companies asked to interview Miles: one local company; one in Littleton, CO; and one in Riverton, UT.

It seemed we’d struck gold. Miles had three interviews with the company here in Irvine. And we actually got an offer from the company in Littleton. When we got the offer, however, we were in Utah where Miles was interviewing for a Database Engineer position for the LDS Church.

He’d applied for the job with the Church thinking he was very under qualified. Which he was. In fact, during the phone interview he was told so. But they still wanted to meet him. They said they saw potential.

The interview went well. And we were very hopeful! This would be a great opportunity for growth. And there’s no doubt that Miles indeed does have the potential to do very well. We wanted this position. My family wanted us to get this position because we’d only be a few hours away. We were so grateful when my mom told us my family would be fasting and praying for Miles to get the job. Well, God heard our prayers. The next day, Miles got a phone call informing him that they’d like to hire him with a start date of May 17th. Nothing short of a miracle!

We are so thrilled! But as we learned from our experience with the NC peeps, it’s not official until it’s official. So just today we heard the details of the offer. Great salary and benefits! Who could ask for more?

Only one problem. Remember how I’m supposed to have a baby mid-June? Well the benefits don’t kick in until July 1. Now this complicates things beyond belief!

I currently have a private plan through Kaiser Permanente. Utah doesn’t have Kaiser. I cannot buy into an other individual plan because pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition. Blah. We do not qualify for medicaid assistance even though here in California we are living in poverty. So that leaves us paying out of pocket. Maybe not too big of a deal if everything goes perfectly. But that’s a big risk. We could be paying tens of thousands of dollars if I need a c-section, not to mention all the other possible complications.

So where does that leave us? In a very hard situation. We’ve come up with two “solutions.”

1. Link and I stay in California and Miles moves up to Utah to start his job. This would mean me taking care of Link by myself for a month, risking Miles not being here for the birth of the baby (would probably ask the doctor about induction to decrease this risk), paying double rent, and trying to move with a newborn by myself since Miles will have to be back at work.

2. We move together up to Utah as planned. I stay in Riverton and get things settled for a couple weeks. Drive down to St. George to stay with family for a week (it’s 4 hours closer to the Kaiser Hospital), then the final week I’d stay in a friend’s apartment while they are out of town. This would mean I’d pay for prenatal visits out of pocket, we’d still be risking Miles not being there for the birth, and I’d have to travel back up to Utah with a 2-day old.

So neither option is a good option. I hate to say it but our current health care system here in America sucks!

As my grandma said, we’re going to need to talk to the Lord about this one. Indeed!

I welcome any thoughts/ advice. Maybe there’s something we haven’t thought of?